原来

原来，我不是想象中的快乐，

原来，我不是想象中的坚强，

原来，我不是想象中的勇敢，

原来，我只是我，一个普通的我。。

近来，发现，其实，我真的一无是处，

问题的来临，我，慌了，怕了，呆了。。

我以为，我可以很勇敢的面对，很坚强的接受这神的试探，

然而，一句温柔的话，我的泪崩溃了，我哭了，哭得不能自我，不能停止。。

发现，原来，亲情，爱情，友情，只不过是一种情绪，

开心时分享，担心时分担，伤心时分忧。。。

但，今时，今日，今天的我们，

是否还愿意打开心胸，去倾诉呢？

我以为，演戏很简单。。

只要把悲伤往心里吞，敞开灿烂的笑容，就行了。。

可是，我忘了。。

忘了演员也是需要休息，需要个人空间。。

于是，我泪了，累了，倒了。。

给自己个人的空间，

没人能打扰我，没人能伤害我。。

只是，寂寞真的很寂寞。。。

Raub~memories~

yesterday, i went to Raub, just to meet jing xuan, to chat, as last time...

she can drive a white myvi now, and we just "jalan-jalan. cari jalan"~XD.

we went to the taman that i went before for moral folio when we were just form 4 student.

chit chat at there, yap become more and more quiet, and she look stressful.

(YAP, dont too stress till become crazy and keep phone people ya!XD.)

then we went to MB (Marrybrown) to have my lunch. then we went to Mr lim house, just see from outside, this make us memorize back those nightmare life~still felt scary~~

then we went here n there, i told jing xuan it was a "1 day trip in Raub"~~~hehe...

next 2 week will be jing xuan birthday and as i promise, yap, i will back for celebrate with you~

and, remember what you ask me yesterday? did i regret to be friend with you?

the answer is "NO", and i m so happy and proud to be friend with you~

love you ya~muacks!

就这样吧~

大学，不单单是求知识的地方，还是一个会让人经历无数大大小小的挫折及历练的社会预习班。。。

随着年龄的增长，我慢慢了解到，并不能要求每个人都喜欢你，都与你为伍。。。

过于迁就，你会失去自我，失去原本的自己，变得与大家都一样，但，你有朋友。。。

坚持自我，你会失去朋友，失去友情与热闹，变得孤孤单单一人，但，你还是你。。。

选择吧！！做出你的决定。。

然而，就非得敌我者亡，顺我者昌吗？

与你有话聊，与你契合，即使他是那么的错，你还是会认为他对，那是因为你先入为主。。

与你话不投机，半句多，即使他是多么的对，你终究会认为他错，那是因为你就是这样想。。。

到底，有多少人会真正的理智与客观呢？？

我，不是圣人，不是好人，也不是坏人。。。

我，只是我。。。

无需多言解释，但，我清楚我的为人。。

我在乎你们对我的想法，改，尽可能的改，只为了你们的不讨厌。。。

高高在上的狮子座啊~~你何必为了他人而素尊降贵呢？？

现在是二十一世纪，没有所谓的高高在上，只有谦虚及和平。。。

难不成你愿降为奴棣，一辈子受人差遣吗？？

不，我不愿。我有我的底线，一旦过了，就这样吧~我不会再低头了。。。

不奢求他人的爱戴与尊敬，只愿不受委屈；

不奢求他人的谅解与接纳，只愿不被冤枉。。。

够了。。。我宁可不去解释，不去要求原谅，不拥有你们的友情，我也不要失去自我，失去尊严。。。

好朋友告诉我的一番话：“你的朋友是被你自己的特质所吸引，因而与你成为死党，一辈子的死党。。就像我们两个，与你，一辈子的死党。。。”

老师的一番话：“不要为他人伤心，不要为了害怕而逃避，做自己，是最好的选择。。”

朋友们，我珍惜你们的友情，但，到了某个阶段，那，我不勉强你们。。

我不强逼你们与我为友，但，不要里外不一的与我为友，即使你们有多不喜欢我。。。

为人，要坦坦白白的，有什么误会，说出来！！！有什么不满的,告诉我！！！

我改，当我知道是我的错； 不改，当我认为我没错，事实，才是证据。。。

为你们带来麻烦了，对不起。。。

haiz...

recently, i have big trouble in the relationship with my friends...

why say so? because i want to shift house...AGAIN!!!!

yea...again...why? because our house owner bully us by asking us to pay his electric bills. 2 freezer ae!he bring back 1 big aquarium last week some more~so me, thomas and pipu decide to shift..

Problems come.....

1st, we found 1 house cost rm350 per month which located quite far from campus. pipu cant decide whether he want to stay with us or shift to smin house. finally he agree to stay with us, then we though problem have been solve! who know, sean, yin syn all others friend suddenly come out with 1 question, why the house that we going to rent so cheap?? it is fully furnished: furniture, heater, freezer, wahing machine,tv.. they think inside is "not so clean"...

so....

we found another house which is also far to campus and town, but this time thomas dont want. then kenny, me,agong and agong's friend rent it~ it is rm600~~

now, problem become~~

how is thomas and kenny current room??
we thought thomas okay with kenny house, but he didn't. me and pipu are feel so sorry to thomas, because it looks like we dump him aside. so, we try to help him to search room for rent, this evening we even drive motor to round taman but 1 also dont have or didnt suit thomas. so, thomas problem havent settle until now..

in this "shift house incident", i know i make 5 people not happy and maybe even dislike or hate me...

1st, goik. this fella i totally didnt care about his feeling, but what i admit is, what i told sony is different with what sony told him. so??? this fella scold me in Facebook la!! whatever~who care??

2nd, yoke kwan and rick and chee ann. maybe they will think is i rampas kenny from their house. but inside many story, i also lazy to explain too much here...see when got chance to let them know the inside story...perhaps...

3rd, thomas, really really feel apologize to him. because i really cant stay in my current house already~it is not worth if i need to pay bill for the F***ing owner..and i really cant stay alone in that rm350 house every weekend. this will take my life~

at last, i want to say: jia hong, thank you for your support. when i need you badly, you are always there to listen to me and share my burden..without you, i think i can't afford to face such situation. with you, i think i will brave enough to face coming problem...

and, sony, sorry, you shouldn't involve in such incident because you are so innocent.don't worry, goik there is fine for me, because he is nothing to me~

and, kenny. sorry and thank you. hard to say, but thanks for your trust on me...

lastly, pipu..dont blame yourself already..you did nothing wrong..just that every people with different concept in their mind. when conflict come, we can do nothing as long as we didn't do anything that against with our heart.

haiz...hope tomorrow everything will be settle...

my birthday~

2day is my birthday~20 liao~

yesterday, kenny, thomas, rui ying, yoke guan, rick, pipu, yin syn , lewis and his gf celebrate with me~

i forget to take photo, so no photo uploaded..

i gt 2 cake 2 eat, 1 secret recipe and 1 oreo cake. i celebrate my birthday with yoke guan, her birthday is at 26 july. they all so naughty!! after we make wishes, blow the candle, they ask us use mouth to take out the candle. we tough they will push out head onto the cake, so we are mentally prepare. WHO KNOW!!! both of us kena "head attack", not by cake, but by egg!! i kena 3, yoke guan kena 2. that loh yin syn seems like want to kill me, she hit my egg so strongly untill the egg "biem biem". T^T all of this is because lewis!! he is the 1 who come out with such idea~

and then i got 1 present!! its meh meh!!hehe...a cute little sheep doll. can help her take off her wool, then she will become a sheep with a botak body.( head still got hair, so its look like the head is big, but the body is small). haha..

i had enjoy myself yesterday night.. then i back home and continue my assignment~(so pity me)
i had received so many wishes from my friend but not from someone..he is disappointing me..:( but anyway, my birthday is so happy for me~thanks..all my beloved friends~muakx!

gotong-royong

my room~

thomas block inside liao~

all my things inside thomas room~

waa~so long didn't upload my blogger already..

hmn...last sunday, i finally finish my midterm...my room was so messy and like a rubbish dump. i had bear with my room situation for almost 3weeks. and finally, i got free time to clean my room after all my stupid midterm..

i want clean my room 100%, so i remove all my things into thomas room. THOMAS ROOM BECOME STORE ROOM!!haha..and my room was so empty. i clean my room from 2.30pm till 6.30pm, so hungry and tired after gotong-royong~XD.

after i clean my room, pipu say my room suddenly become more bright~of coz la~last time so many dust~hehe.. although cleaning my room is such a big project that are so tired, but it is worth for me~i can stay more comfortable ma~XD

halo~~

really long long time didnt write blog already...

erm... what should i write??

Actually, i am in bad mood now, i just want to do something to release my feeling...thus, i choose to write blog.

i shift house already, life without sharing room with people is damn good! although sometime will feel boring and lonely, but it is same as when i share room with someone, since she just use me to "jaga" the room for her.

this semester, i really felt stressful....very very tension...so many assignment and things to do... and .....money~MONEY~MONEY~MONEY~all is about money...haix....mafan~

i think that's all i want to say today. i will try my best to write blog as i already promised jing Xuan.

Yap, gambateh ya!wish you all the best in IMU.